| Being
thankful or showing gratitude is not inherently existent in a
person. Thus, social grace has to be taught to your preschooler. Children initially believe that the whole world revolves around them
and everything is exclusively for their benefit. They have to be guided to think beyond
themselves and their needs.
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Show thankfulness for your children |
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| Express
to your child how thankful you are to have him around. When children feel
loved and cared for, it becomes easier for them to develop empathy. |
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Set a good example |
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| Children follow the actions of the adults around them, particularly their
parents and teachers. As actions speak louder than words, be sure to shower the people
around you with thanks and thoughtful gestures yourself. |
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Show appreciation for their empathic impulses |
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| Acknowledge the considerate things your child does or says on
impulse. Let him know that his actions have made someone happy. Initially, you will have
to remind him often to be courteous, but as your preschooler grows, he will remember to be
courteous on his own. |
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Don't demand it |
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| Don't shame or scold your child when he is not courteous or
grateful. Gratitude should not stem from shame or fear of punishment. |
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Give
gentle reminders |
| You can
induce thankfulness in your child by giving gentle reminders. Initiate saying "thank
you" to an aunt: let's say, by telling your child, "Let's both say thank you to
Aunty Sharon for bringing you the block set." Do not force him if he doesn't do it.
Later when he is playing with the blocks, explain to him that people feel good if you
thank them for their gifts. |
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Consider the reasons for ungrateful behaviour |
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| If your
preschooler is hungry, tired or upset, he cannot be expected to be grateful or courteous
at the same time. Your child's temperament should also be
taken into account. A more talkative child is more likely to say "thank you"
than a reserved child. |
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Role-playing |
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| You can act out and role-play with your preschooler to prepare him to
receive gifts graciously even if the gift is unappealing. This is especially useful before
a birthday. Tell him that he should say "thank you" because it is the thought
that counts, no matter what the gift is. |
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| Remember,
if your child has just shown an embarrassing behaviour of ingratitude, it is more likely
due to his developmental stage, rather than your parenting abilities. Take heart and know
that soon he will grow out of this. |
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